A week’s breakdown of thoughts, readings, stress, and some journal entry.
This week, I have decided to reread one of my favorite fics, Another Hazy May – which you can find on Ao3 – for some unknown urge. Or maybe because… i’ve got twenty seconds to live but twelve and a half eternities to read. 😉
I’ve been listening to old (not) hit songs recently like Jonas Brother’s Love Bug, Lips of An Angel, Jet Lag, etc. and i’m currently feeling Oasis-y and maybe… you’re gonna be the one that saves me.
And if you ever tried to guess what’s my cause of stress and thought of School well, you’re right. Research papers, lab reports, midterms, and such are going to be the death of me. Though i’m not really complaining, i’m down right ambitious after all.
I just got home from the mall with my bestfriends and well I really don’t have anything in my mind currently. Though this week, I have thought about how sex-workers get degraded so much because of their job. People always pull out the “there’s so many decent jobs out there but they settle on working for sex because it’s easy money” card. Slut-shaming is so evident here in the Philippines and I am sick of it. No, I am not getting slut shamed because i’m far from it. I just find it disgusting when people slut shame other people for the sake of enjoyment, for their twisted kind of fun.
A Journal Entry
To the 18 year old girl who doesn’t want to go on,
Everything’s not okay.
Atleast not now.
Burn, if you must. Swallow the world whole. Be a volcano and erupt. Leave smoldering, sultry lava and shake the ground with your fervent touch; because even scalding fires quenches in time. And when you look back you’ll realize, what a disaster – you were. A beautiful one - I would say, and tell you how you doused your demons with the fire you ignited your were left with your own flickering, fiery, life.
Exhaust if you will. When you feel your lungs are caged, think of them as flowers growing from within. You are a garden, you must know. You grow flowers and some of them has thorns. And that’s okay, for even Roses are considered one of the most beautiful kind. You are beauty and chaos intertwined.
Be angry and curse at the moons. How time is such a selfish prick that it goes on and on without ever asking if you’re okay.
Fall apart, and that’s inevitable. We all had our fair shares of falling a long way down. Stay on the ground. Stay and let sadness fill you. Don’t worry about the time, about how much or how long. Stay until you no longer feel burnt out. Stand up when you feel you’re ready, not when you feel you need to. We all have to give in to it – depression – so we must know what happiness is. For a man who gets to recover his eyesight will appreciate light much, much, more after being so long in the dark.
Grow and always, always, let love through.
With Love From Love,
[Disclaimer: Photo not mine.]