This Is When You Would Go After Her

When she’s weary of carrying out your demons and everything feels like tiptoeing through a slumbering leviathan that one drop of a needle or even its lose thread would awaken something so big like apocalypse itself couldn’t even fathom it; and that everything just felt like walking through an endless labyrinth with broken glasses scattered all throughout the pathway and one wrong step would make all hell break loose and everything is just so, so, out of place that she, herself, misplaces, you.

When you find yourself searching for every right words to make her stay so you kiss her lips until it bleeds and hoping, praying, it could convey every syllable of the word you were terrified to say.

When every touch, carress, and even the lightest of contact feels like a whole fucking lifetime and 50 different parallel universes over but then she asks you to say it, say the words, make her stay, yet you, confused and hurt, and so, so, scared, gave up everything in less than seven seconds.

When you see her eyes boring into yours like she’s trying to look past your body and into your soul and you feel like you are stripped bare and this, this cannot happen, so instead, you kiss your knuckles right before they touch her cheeks.

When you’ve still got a half and a lifetime to live but everything feels like light as a feather and you ran out of your whole packet of cigarettes and now you see her pack her bags and everything that was hers – except you.

This is when I would go after her, you thought

but instead, you didn’t.


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